Body parts

Before you read the rest of this - please know this: I feel thin - nearly every day. And on the few days that I don't - it's water weight, puffiness - and I know it.

I try to "take stock" every once in a while - because if I don't write it down - I will never remember. I am nearly to the one year mark - on my blog - in a couple months - I will be able to go back and revisit where I was and what I was thinking - a year ago.


Today's Reflections:
There is a line - on my face - continuous from jaw bone to jaw bone - running under my chin. I happened to catch sight of it - on a very sunny day - in the review mirror in the car last week. Yesterday - it was sunny - I checked again - yes, it is really there.

It looks like I was abducted by aliens - and they did some weird surgery on me - it looks more like a very fine line scar than the crease of a regular line on your face.

I assume it is from the weight of the fat - that used to be on my face and neck.

Will anyone but me ever notice this line? No. Do I really care that it is there? No. Just happened to notice it.


I went through a long, long spell of expecting to see a fat belly each time I looked in the mirror. That has gone away. I expect to see what is really there - now. My belly Feels thin to me - nearly every day now. Did you think that day would EVER come? To be honest - I don't know if I did or not. My belly was a big motivating factor - for a long, long time.

But - now - just so you know - for some very odd reason, when I sit down – I expect to have belly lying on my lap. I don’t. But, for an instant - I expect to. I did have a belly - on my lap - for years and years and years. I haven't for several years now. Why that particular feeling came back - I don't know - but I do recognize/remember it.

I tried on clothes over the weekend with my middle child – caught sight of my back in the dressing room mirrors and was just slightly horrified – rolls, fat. It is there – it is real – and I didn’t know it was. I came home and looked in the bathroom mirror - to see why I hadn't seen it before - it is because of the angle - full length mirrors all over the dressing room. I have new sympathy for Cindy moving into her house of mirrors (see her 3/29/07 post). Do, I find this back fat upsetting? No - just unpleasant reality. Motivating.

I was late to yoga one day - which means that I never did get my mind cleared all the way. I looked at myself in the mirror - and thought - please let those side rolls be the bulk of my clothes.

I squeezed - no bulk of clothes - rolls of fat on each side/back - love handles.

Did they suddenly sprout? NO - I am quite sure they were there all along. As my belly has continued to shrink and firm - they are just now noticeable.

They are the same rolls of fat - that I see everywhere - rolling out over the tops of mid rise jeans - for all of us that are apples. My side roll fat - looks the same as other people - that look like they need to lose a pound or two.