My body seemed to be the topic of conversation early in the week (in real life) and that is unusual.
Yesterday, I talked about the fact that my family just sort of accepts the size and shape that I am now.
Laura echoed this in comments saying: "I completely understand where you are coming from on what your kids/friends/family remember of you. I've only been this size for 2 years & it is so foreign to everyone, thinking of me at 200 pounds."
Make that ditto for me.
People just get used to seeing the size that you are. And there are MANY people, that I am around now, that did not know me then.
So, I do not get comments/questions about my 'journey' on a regular basis. Actually I get more questions about working out with a bad lower back than anything else.
I haven't had unsolicited people analyzing my body parts in a LONG time. The people that I talked to about pears/apples and BMI - yes - because I brought it up - but out of the blue comments - stopped long ago.
And just so you know - when the comments stopped - I was ready for them to stop. I did NOT miss the attention that happens with weight loss.
Today's Post:
There were two people in the morning zumba (at my old gym) Monday morning that stopped and asked about my weight loss.
One remembered me from before (215+ lbs) - and I really think that she understands how far I have come. She wasn’t mean – I was not offended – she just said that she can’t believe the difference. She was talking about losing the fat - but she was also talking about my conditioning. She specifically mentioned remembering me in Pilate's with Kris who was a stickler for body positioning. I had very little control over any of my body parts at that time - Kris was looking for isolation of muscles and frankly - my body just sort of flopped around. . .I did not cringe that this lady remembered those days. I appreciate that there is someone out there that is witness to my journey.
The other lady (only) remembers me from a year and a half ago (when I started free weights). She said she can't believe the difference. There are very few pound differences (in that last year and a half) but HUGE tone differences.
What prompted all this - I think it is the loss of more weight over the past couple weeks. It is very small amounts, but at this size one can literally SEE each pound (coming off). It is very interesting.
I did tell them that I was working on the last ten. And they were hunting for excess skin and looking at my remaining fat pockets.
Is this offensive to me?
NO! It is actually very refreshing to have someone not coddling me. Have them accept that where I was - is where I was - and that what is still here - is still here - and that it isn't terrible - it is just a fact.
I felt like I was talking to one of you – when I talked to these two.
I do not feel intimidated by the 'last ten' - that you hear so many people complain about - I feel empowered.
And I understand - on some level - why these two were fascinated.
To you and I - here in blog land - this stuff is all routine. We are used to looking at before pictures and looking at in progress pictures. We are used to reading about people's thought processes, feelings.
In real life - not so much.
And these are workout people. They are used to muscle isolation and working on key toning places. So it IS interesting to have a real life specimen in front of them. If I knew another 'me' in real life - I would be very interested in what was going on with their body too.
I was doing this same thing in reverse - asking fit people - if they gained - where would it attach itself to their body. These ladies were just doing it the forward way - as you lose - where does it leave - ?
I have seen both of them again - this week - and they did not do a repeat performance - it will not turn into THE topic each time we meet in class. I think it was just the one time - because I dropped a bit more weight -and they can see it. But now, in process again - it will become the new normal. In just a few weeks - this same size or a bit smaller - I will just look like myself.
Friday, July 10, 2009
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12 comments:
Interesting! I got this too as I lost my 150 lbs. For me it wasn't in the gym, but rather in odd places like the grocery store aisle! Sometimes it was a little bit embarrassing, but like you said, once that person and I had that conversation, we didn't have to do it again! Other people - yes, them - no.
I never thought about the fact that we don't comment effusively about people's trips "up" the scale the same way! Definitely a good thing!
:as it really been a year and a half since the freeweight classes started? That seems like just a short time ago. Time flying by.
It is nice to be able to have a two way conversation with someone who really wants to know and understands the work/process and like you said look at remains, other than the type that gush and then have a list as why it won't work for them
Diane - I have to tell you - as people have their trips UP the scale - I always do want to ask them (but of course do not). What I want to ask is 'what happened?' I know what happened scientifically - they put more calorie dense food in their mouth and moved their body less (in that order) but what I want to know is - emotionally - intellectually - what HAPPENED? Because somewhere a switch flipped. And I would like to know about those switches. I am someone that talks about those switches - here on my blog - nearly every day. But most people do NOT want to deal/face/talk about it.
sharla - amen to the list why it won't work for them! that is cetainly a common mindset. But those are the people that I will not talk to about weight loss. But that is okay - because they avoid me like the plague. . .
I think what you say about how refreshing it is to have people not coddle you is such a great point. I have people tell me I look good right now--and yes I look better having lost 40 pounds--but I know (and they know too) that I still need to lose 40-45 more pounds. I would rather these people be honest with me and encourage me further in my weight loss than tell me I look fine. I have a few friends who will give me that honesty, and I am not offended when they tell me that I will look better and have an overall better quality of life with the additional weight gone.
Ali - ditto your ditto and ditto again.
This was obvious to me (about myself) when looking at my flcker account pictures. I felt very much IN process in the 180 lbs range. And I was aware on some level how THICK my middle was then. But even though I knew - I didn't REALLY know.
I do NOT think that every single person every where needs to get down to the low end of the bmi. I think that there are some people that it is NOT in their best interest to even get into the normal bmi range.
I know bloggers whose goal (200lbs) is very near my starting weight. And for those people that is SMART. They are wise for moving down to that weight and then learning to HOLD there.
But for others (me) I want to strip it all off. And I think this is very much because I am an apple and holding weight in the belly is so much of a health risk. I am not sure that I would be making this final push if I were a pear.
Do you find some folks kind of wait around in the wings, waiting to see if you'll gain it all back? Those are the comments I'm most attuned to now. The "Wow, still thin, I see?" Thanks for the encouragement, I want to say, but then I laugh it off. They're the ones with the issue, not me.
No - I actually have NEVER gotten that (regain) comment - maybe someone thought it - but no one has ever even hinted at it.
I think the people around me think once I figure out HOW - I do it.
when the last season of the biggest loser was on - we were talking about it in my free weights class and someone ELSE said something to the effect that all the contestants had to be relieved to have it off (inferring forever OFF).
And actually I was the one that thought and said it was interesting that she thought they would automatically ALL keep it off.
And she was surprised that I didn't think most of the contestants would maintain.
I said (my opinion only) if the percentages were right - then 9 out of 10 would NOT maintain.
I said (my opinion only) that with this particular season - I thought the vast majority of them would NOT maintain. I saw a LOT of enabling and codependency and life styles that were asking for regains. and I think the nature of the show makes reality hard to accept (after they go home).
Everyone in the class was very surprised to hear me say that (except the instructor who agreed). I think that most of these women thought it was an automatic. And I don't think so.
I like what you said about people not coddling you. So many peolpe have seen me go up and down soooo much. Even when I gain it all back they try and say that I look smaller than before...
- Lisa
www.losewithlisa.blogspot.com
First, comment on yesterday's post: please be sure you tell middle child that I adore her back! :-)
I think that people who regain (me me me) don't really know what the "switch" is...I know that it takes a lot of focus for me to stay on a healthy program to keep my weight low. It's not hard when I get in the groove, but if I fall out sometimes it's hard to get back. What makes the fall? Not any one thing. So, the moral of the story, at least for me, is that constant vigilance is pretty much required. I don't like this. But that's how it is.
P.S. I still don't love my carb-up days...am having to really fight to eat what I am supposed to on those days...when I don't, I don't lose though. Hope your second week hasn't been too hard...adding back in the more carby foods awakened my cravings a bit until I got used to it again.
I (so far) am having no WANT problem.
But I will say that I decided what I REALLY did WANT and that is what I ate for the carb up day.
And at the end of the day felt too full. I can handle this once a week - but I don't think I would like two days in a row and I don't think I would like more than once a week. Hard to believe - I know - based on what (we all) used to eat - but so do not eat that way anymore.
I have a friend who lost a great deal of weight last year, but because I don't see her very often, I'm still surprised every time I see her! I think it's when you see someone every day that you get used to how they look now and "forget" how they looked before.
I must say, I'm not shy about my body or my journey. I'll talk to anyone who wants to know...
Ear ok?
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