I usually see a baby and sort of go the opposite direction - glad to be past my baby years - but still understand them

We went to the open house (Saturday) with the idea that if I was not doing well - we would stay ONE HOUR and leave. The girls knew this - my husband knew this.

My husband was NOT annoying about it - but did check in with me several times to see if I was okay or hanging on by my finger nails. From the outside - it is hard to know with me - he is smart enough to ask and not to assume. Because (since) he is male - chances are REALLY high that if he assumes - he is going to assume wrong. . .

I did fine and we stayed all afternoon.

It was a very hot Indiana day. I stayed in the house with the air conditioning. And I visited with the oldest daughter who had a very premature baby 15 months ago - he still has a GI tube and a trach and all kinds of health problems. She kept him mostly in the air conditioning. So she and I visited. And also listened for the mom's baby.

The sleeping baby is the mom's (of the high school grad) youngest - who just turned one. So the daughter with the baby is the oldest at 25 and then baby I was listening for (on the baby monitor) is the youngest at one. They are in the process of adopting her - she has been with them since birth. So the youngest is the same age as the (preemie) grandson. There are three other boys - high school grad is the youngest of the boys - and one more girl that is 13. Six kids total - age 1 to 25 span. Only the baby is adopted - rest are their birth children. Large families are NOT unusual here - there are many families with 8+ kids.

The mom (of the 6) said something to me about loving babies - and I did tell her that I do not gravitate toward them (like she still does). But I happily listened to the baby monitor (for several hours since I stayed in the house) - and went and got the baby - changed her pants - got her a drink and carried her around on my hip until the mom had time to get her.

It is easy to tell that she is the youngest of 6 - she didn't care that she didn't know me - she was just glad to get up after her nap and get clean pants. She was very happy on my hip - the crowds were a little much for her.

But least you think I turned baby-gaga. When I changed her pants - I was not making baby noises at her - I was saying - do not pee on me.

And I think she was very comfortable on my hip - because I wasn't in her face - I just let her be.

I will tell you that (every once in a while) I hold a fussy baby somewhere for someone - and they (I suppose baby and mom) usually calm right down - because I am not all 'baby mania' all over them. I am low key.

And for a high anxiety person - that is a bit of a contradiction. I suppose babies do not make me nervous.

Long ago - a friend used to call me - to go over to her house - to calm both her and the baby down - when she was at her wits end. She said it was like a breeze of calm.

This was a baby with problems. And they would work each other into a 'state' and SHE would sit there and wonder - 'do I need to take the baby to the ER or I am actually doing this by being upset?'

So I suppose I was the determining factor.

If I came over and picked up the baby and everyone calmed right down - it was emotional.

If continued hysterics - baby was in true distress.

I remember one year - it was my birthday - and I was there for two hours - in my pj's - calming everyone down. I never told her it was my birthday. She still doesn't know.

That baby is now (the same age as my youngest) 11 and is doing really well. (And I suppose it says a lot that I had the same age baby at my house - and was able to go to her house and be calm.)

But I have never forgotten her being able to recognize that the whole problem might be in her perception.

She wasn't wishing to make things worse - it was not attention seeking - but she recognized that she was feeding into her own frenzie.

I supposed I was the barometer. Her tool to be able to tell what was black and what was white at a very confusing time.

Think about ALL of this in regard to food.

Over eating in particular.

Because somewhere in this story of upset babies - there is a parallel to my being able to stay calm - about food. And please know that staying EVEN (to start) prevents the whole situation from escalating.