Sandwiched

As I sit here writing (on Sunday) - I am writing tomorrow's post - only ONE day ahead - and that is very unusual. On some level - I must have had a very EVEN week last week - because there are no posts scheduled/queued up for this week. So obviously no pondering issues. But as I think about it - I think that I have also been busy - and pressured.

I had a hard time with my mom and her husband all last week (actually now that I think about it - it has been two weeks). She has not been feeling well since she took my nephew to meet my brother two weeks ago.

When she said she wanted to drive herself (to meet my brother half way)- I let her. I knew better at the time. But I thought - she is a big girl - if she wants to - let her.

And this (reaction on my part) was mostly due to her husband. She wanted to get him 'out' (of the house) and I did not want to be in the car with him for 3+ hours (1 1/2 hours each way). I did not want to deal with getting him in and out of the restaurant. I did not want to eat with him.

So, my insisting on driving - would also have meant that I would have had to say - 'ummmm, if I am going, then he is not going'. And I couldn't quite figure out how to do that.

On the way there (to pick up the nephew at the beginning of his visit) it was easy - both girls wanted to go - my mom wanted to go - one extra body on the trip back (my nephew) so - no room for my mom's husband.

But for this trip - I would have had to take a stand - and even though I knew deep down that she shouldn't drive - I let her.

Now I (and she) have been paying the piper for two full weeks (since the return trip with the nephew). And actually the first week - I thought she might be dying. (Cardiac patient on borrowed time).

I even had her remind me of where all the papers were and what I was supposed to do with her husband - just in case (papers are in the cabinet by the front door - one of the sons is in Michigan for the summer - call him to get in the car and come deal - pronto).

In addition to my own stuff - I have had all their errands/grocery shopping, checking in on them several times a day - every day. It is not a lot of stuff - it is just constant.

And my yoga studio is now closed and the pick up classes are not automatic to me - I have to keep checking three different facility schedules to know what I am doing - and when. And I planned to walk a LOT, but the weather is not cooperating.

And it has been hot - chest compressing hot - so I have not been able to walk over for each check - I have to drive - and have been stopping on my way (to or fro) each time I leave the neighborhood.

Do you remember that my mom has a hard time picking out things?

This week - the ceiling fan in her bedroom died, the living room one did too. And she put too high of a voltage light bulb in the one above her dining room table (end of the kitchen) and it blew up (literally, arch of electricity went from the fixture down to the table - if it had arched over the direction, where they were standing, it would have killed her husband, in his wheelchair, with his pacemaker/defib).

So one day I spent a couple hours at the fixture store buying new ones and then called the electrician. It is now all installed and functioning. And I thought of the whole thing as proactive. They are fixtures that would have needed replaced if I needed to list the house with a Realtor. So at some point I would have been doing this anyway. Now it is done. They can enjoy them. And it was an efficient use of the electrician's fee - one trip fee - all is done at the same time.

It was actually easier that my mom was not well - made the buying go much faster - to just do it myself. And yes, I am able to pick out things that they genuinely love - with no trouble. Remember - I found the house that they live in now. And they love that house. (Shopping was Wednesday, electricians were Friday).

And then Saturday - her husband was not doing well - blood sugar was nuts and horrible GI trouble. I thought I was headed to the ER with him - but then literally - he almost died and then rallied.

My mom was checking on him constantly. It was a day where if he had been in a nursing home and not monitored closely he would have just slipped away and they would have found him dead in his bed. Or if he lived alone - he wouldn't have been alert enough to get help - dead in his bed again.

Because of his GI trouble - he had taken his insulin but then delayed in eating (literally running/wheeling to the toilet). His blood sugar had bottomed out - big time - lowest it has ever been. My mom found him clammy and out of it - in his bed.

She got juice in him and then food - and within a half an hour - he was back in the 150's with good color and his mind working again.

He is a wheeling, non-walking reminder of why I eat portions, eat healthy/whole foods, eat a very balanced food plan that is reasonably low in fat/carbs (all carbs - even the healthy ones), eat at meal time, and keep my weight in the normal range.