There is a part two to the pool saga. And if you have been married for a l-o-n-g time, I am sure you saw it coming.

The week AFTER the first Sunday pool incident, it rained and no one went to the pool.

The week after that the middle child and I went to 9am mass and then stopped at the store on the way home and then stopped at my mom's to pick up the nephew. (I should add that I got up early that day and had done MANY things before we went to mass.)

When we got home, oldest and his car and the husband were (all) gone. From the missing items on the drying rack in the garage, I was pretty sure they were at the pool. The youngest was still in bed (had just woken in an empty house), and had no idea where they were (demerit #1 against the husband).

I mixed three times my normal waffle recipe and put in the refrigerator to chill. I got two big packages of turkey sausage out of the freezer and put it in water to thaw. All the kids (middle, youngest, nephew) got changed and we headed to the pool.

When we pulled into the parking lot - we saw the oldest's car.

When we walked into the pool - they (husband and oldest) were no where to be found.

We asked at the desk and they said - they were just here a minute ago.

The first thing that came to mind was - we missed them - and the littler kids wanted to play with the oldest and the husband. I borrowed a phone from the front desk and called the oldest's cell phone - to tell them to turn around and come back to the pool - he did not answer.

I sent the nephew to the men's locker room and they were not there either.

Then I thought - I have a LOT of breakfast food already started at home. Please do not let it be that we missed them (passing in locker rooms on our ways in and out) and they are now on their way to brunch somewhere.

I borrowed the pool phone again. I tried the oldest's phone again. Still no answer.

I usually know what is going on without half a glance/thought. But I could not figure out this one.
At this point it was more of a puzzle than an irritation. I walked back out to the parking lot to see if the oldest's car was still there and make sure it really was his. It was there and his.

I glanced over at the tennis courts and they were not there either. I couldn't imagine that they were out walking together. I was puzzled.

I walked over to my car and got my cell phone. I tried the oldest's phone again - thinking that he didn't recognize the pool's number and therefore had not answered nor called it back. No response from him with my phone either.

While all this was going on with me - the three other kids (middle, nephew and youngest) had been looking all over for them too.

Then I heard a shout from the big pool - it was the middle child - laughing and yelling - "you are both so dead over this!"

She said that she had looked over to the shallower end of the big pool, where there is a low lifeguard chair and peaking under it, IN the water, were two sets of eyes in goggles. When she yelled - they both disappeared under water.

It was the husband and oldest.

At that point I went and found a chair and pulled it to the shade and got out my parking lot papers (I was in the midst of assigning spots).

If either one of the guys had needed CPR at that point - they would have been totally out of luck with help from me. I might have poured water on their heads to see if that helped their drowning along.

My husband came over later to say - I suppose you did not think that was funny. And I said in the land of assholes - that was probably very funny indeed. And went back to my papers.

The oldest asked me about it later and I said - If I were a hemophiliac - would you entertain yourself by cutting little wounds all over me?

Husband asked me if I wanted to take a walk later that day and I said no.

I didn't think of it fast enough - but I wish I had said - why don't you walk down the driveway and across the street and then hide behind and tree and pretend I am looking for you to take a walk.

A full week later - he did something else really annoying - and later asked again if I wanted to go for a walk - and I did say it that time - why don't you walk down the driveway and across the street and then hide behind and tree and pretend I am looking for you to take a walk.

He asked what it meant and I said it meant I was really, really tired and not having a patient kind of day.

After thought:
My husband would say that if I hadn't been doing the parking lot assignment job, I would not have gotten upset. I say should I not do anything so that I am able to tolerate needless upset-?and is there EVER a time when a husband should hide from a wife (that is actively looking for him) and expect it to be a good thing - ?

PS - and the week after that - husband went to the pool by himself on Sunday morning - I let all the kids sleep. And I enjoyed being home 'by myself'.